Americans in OZ

Sexuality

Where do you begin a discussion on this topic.  So vast and yet so misunderstood.

Understanding what sexuality is may be a good start.  What is sexuality?  In my mind sexuality is the defining of an individuals like and dislikes, do’s and don’ts as it relates to sex.  Each person has a unique sexual identification based on their values and beliefs in this area.  Sexuality differs from sex as sex tends to describe physical acts that a person/s engage in.

Anna Freud famously wrote that “sex is something you do, sexuality is something you are.”  This way of understanding sex highlights the difference between the act of sex and the individual experience of sexuality, which is an intrinsic part of who we are, one that can’t be separated out of ourselves any more than our ethnicity or religious/spiritual beliefs.

Body

Every part of our body can play a role during sex.  People use their feet to get to a place of arousal and some are simply aroused by the foot itself.  Others use elbows, thighs or eye contact during sexual play.  Learning more about how your body works when having sex, and how you can work it more to your benefit can expand your definition of sex exponentially.

Mind

It’s often said that the greatest sexual organ we have is our mind.  How we think and feel about our bodies and ourselves and how we interpret the physical contact we have with others is what we believe the difference between good sex and bad.  Some people worry about thinking too much about sex but the facts are that exploring our sexual thoughts and feelings may be much more important than trying on the latest sex position or role play outfit.

Spirit

Most major religious beliefs have a lot to say about sexuality.  Saying that sex can be defined in spiritual terms doesn’t have to include organised religion.  For some, sex is spiritual because they feel like it brings them closer to their partner in what they feel, in a spiritual way.  What we need to keep in mind is that our religious and spiritual beliefs do help make up our personal definition of sex, and exploring them is another way of exploring sex.

Health

For some sex keeps them healthy much like exercise.  Expanding a definition of sex to include sexual health is a good way to bring all these different parts together.  Over 30 years ago the World Health Organisation defined sexual health as:

“…a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence. For sexual health to be attained and maintained, the sexual rights of all persons must be respected, protected and fulfilled.”

Pam and I are very mindful that good sex helps to maintain good health in a relationship and is no different than eating healthy and exercising.  So I would encourage all our readers to promote healthy sexual relations in your relationships .

Until we next put pen to paper I wish you health, happiness and great sexual adventures.

Mark
Warrior for Truth
Professor (things that make you go Hmm..)