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Real Sex for Real Women – Pt 2.

December 10th, 2008 by 4Quan

Last post I started to let you know my thoughts about what I had read and this week I’ll continue. Hope that you enjoy.

Making Time for Sex

How often have you collapsed into bed and fallen asleep exhausted—not from a night of passion but from a too-full day of running around trying to take care of everything you need to do? For women especially, achieving a fulfilling sex life is about finding time: time to be intimate with your lover, time for yourself, and time to think about what you want from your sex life. To reinvigorate your relationship, try reassessing your priorities and making time to let sexiness flourish in your life.

Doing it all

The trouble with women is that they pride themselves on doing it all. Even though they excel at working a double shift—holding down a full-time job then coming home to housework, cooking, and raising children—they find it hard to relax and enjoy life. To make matters worse, they often refuse help because they believe only they can do it right. Even when given the opportunity to relax, they often choose to spend the time packing lunches, answering emails, or writing a mental to-do list.

Life-enhancing time off

It might not be your partner or children that are stopping you from making time for sex—instead, it might be juggling commitments at work, at home, and with friends. Time for yourself will reward you with greater productivity and improve your relationships with colleagues and friends. Whatever its source, lack of sleep, stress, and a busy lifestyle cause many women to experience fatigue, weight gain, moodiness, and low sex drive. So the next time you’re running ragged all day, don’t be surprised if you head to bed feeling as sexy as a turnip.

You might not be sure where or how discovering your sexuality is supposed to fit into your busy life. But accept that you need time to rest and recuperate. If, like many women, you place sex at the bottom of your to-do list, it might be time to review your priorities and make time for sex. In order to have the best relationship and sex life possible, start by following the three Ds—delegate, decrease, and disengage—to overcome stress, and find time to enhance sex and intimacy with your partner.

Delegate: extend your time

Mounting, nagging to-do lists drive women and their partners crazy, and we aren’t doing anyone any favours by trying to do it all. Your bosses and coworkers are deprived of a calm colleague, your kids of a relaxed mother, your partners and friends of spending quality time with us. Women are deprived of energy, liveliness, and rest.

Prioritize your tasks. If you have a to-do list that includes more than five or six items, it is time to take stock. Put dates against tasks, and stars against anything you cannot delegate. Cross out non-essential tasks.

Your delegation operation might involve a monthly cleaning service. Housekeeping services are quite affordable, so let go of the reins and hand over the mop. Meanwhile, you will have gained an hour of rest and recuperation, which will boost your mood and your libido.

Use technology to make your life easier. think about ordering your groceries, birthday presents, and household items online. Save shopping trips for when you want to choose some sexy new underwear.

Decrease: simplify

How do you decrease? Take a deep breath and let go of perfection. Okay, so there are crumbs on the kitchen table – the world is not going to end. Barring a major bug problem, it should be safe for you to go to sleep at night without sweeping up every crumb in the house.

Make your life easier wherever and whenever possible. From dishwashers to pre-packaged meals to self-cleaning shower gadgets, there are a large number of products that will save you time and sweat. Some of them might be costly, but if they save you time in the end, they are worth it.

You will also have to learn to say “no” more often. Set up boundaries to protect your emotional and physical well-being. Cut back on the number of committees you join, and don’t agree to host every family function or holiday party at your house. Most people will respect your decision. It is nice to feel needed, but resolve to trim down your social obligations, and save yourself for only those that you truly enjoy. The same goes for your kids’ activities. Save your, and their, energy for the events they can’t live without or give up. Use the time to relax with your feet up. To reclaim your sex life back you need “your” time back.

My next post will finish up what I got from Real Women Real Sex. Until then stay safe and ladies please take it easy, slow it down and find those places where you can start getting your groove back on.

4Quan
Warrior for Truth
Professor (things that make you go Hmm..)

Posted in Human Sexuality, Personal Development, Relationships, Roles, Sex | tagged Making Time for Sex, Real Sex and Real Women, Sex, Sexual Intimacy | | 0 Comments

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